It’s so hard to sleep when troubling memories keep pacing through my mind. Like when I was only 14 and I went on my first date. That dreary festival bay mall was so much more vibrant, back then. The A&W root-beer floats danced sweeter on the tongue and the glow in the dark mini golf course seemed to be a place of complete solitude, a secret tunnel carved out for just me and him. We almost kissed. Thank God we didn’t, seeing that he was five years older then me. It’s strange, I truly thought we had something going, there. How do you love someone you barely know, someone whose curved lips you have never brushed against your own?
I peer back to that night, six years ago, and I chuckle. My God. How I underestimated the depth of pain that my heart could feel.
I have come so far and learned so much since that first date, that almost touching of shy lips, yet I’m still that same little girl. I’m still getting lost within the darkness of that neon-glowing golf course and extending my hand out in the shadows for someone to hold it; to keep my trembling fingers warm.